Here we are.

I have long held that ministry and the life of a missionary is not glamorous as we devote our lives to sharing in God's glory. The latest manifestation of this truth is in that Kelly and I have realized that if we don't have a specific life-giving event for about a day, we sink into a depression, and we begin to question why we're in Târgu Mureș when we really came here to be in Lupeni and work with FNO. We don't have that many friends here, and we have to make plans in advance, so we spend a lot of days and evenings just doing homework or making food or listening to Car Talk. It's fine, but is no replacement for good community. So why are we here? "Suntem aici doar să învățăm românește," is what we tell folks who ask us why we're here, if we're missionaries or working with orphans or what. We're just here to learn Romanian.

We've found that that isn't quite true.

Besides students, we're mainly companions for folks here--some new people for the Michmerhuizen boys to play with, CRC people for Steve and Jan to talk to (and them for us to talk to!), and English speakers for Daniel and Maria Edwards to be friends with. It's funny how necessity speeds up how quickly you get comfortable with people.

We also provide company and two young people for Otilia to mother now that she is the only one of her family left in this house. Sometime it really bugs us and makes us feel like children and that our well-deserved independence isn't being fully realized here. And then we say, "Oh, what Americans we are," and get on with it (though, this can take a day or a week to move on from sometimes). But it is good to live here, and to be her companion for three months. She asked us a week or so ago if there was any chance that we could do our work that we came to do in Târgu Mureș and not have to leave and go to Lupeni in April. We kind of looked at each other and explained that the FNO office is in Lupeni and VIATA is on Straja, so we have to go. We were called to Lupeni, to do specific work for them...

Which we were. And we are. But we are called above all other calls to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit wherever we are. And through the discernment of the faithful community around us, we are in Târgu Mureș until April. Sin is so great that even a call from God can be used as an excuse to not be present and thankful in our circumstances and loving to the people around us. Resentment builds too easily when we're not present, and resentment sucks the love out of our lives. And considering that we came to these people on a specific call from God, it doesn't do well to represent our Creator and Caller by being sullen about being where we are. I think that everyone else really loves it that we're here (or is at least pleasantly tolerant of us).

We thank God that we are honest with each other and have talked through our emotions and can call each other out when we're sinking into resentment.

I'm not worried when we feel unhappy about being here, because I also feel unhappy that Jesus is not back here on earth, bringing the Kingdom in full. Call me a pessimist if you like, but I'm truly unhappy that we have to experience the "not yet" of the Kingdom. Now, I am totally thankful that Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to counsel and guide the Church in this in-between time, and I am totally thankful that the Holy Spirit has led Kelly and me to give company to Otilia and Daniel and Maria while we're not doing FNO work or rock climbing in the Jiu Valley.

If the sounds a bit like some Lenten longings, your ears are attuned. A dear friend has suggested that we approach the three months in Târgu Mureș as a fast, as a time of Lenten longing, to be in Lupeni, and for the Kingdom to come fully. Nothing makes the "not yet" of the Kingdom more real than the "not yet" of something else, whether that be food in your belly, being married AT LAST, or being in a place you love with people you love doing work that you love, that you were called to do.

Please understand that we are content and peaceful in Târgu Mureș. We have tasted the life in Lupeni and long for it, so that makes it difficult to stay fully present here. In The Hiding Place, Corrie is worried that her aunt complains about living with them and longs to be back in her last governess job with "those wonderful children." Her mother tells her that when her aunt was at that job, all she longed for was the previous job and "those wonderful children." She tells Corrie that happiness is not something that emits from your circumstances so much as how your heart is attuned to receive those circumstances. Corrie and her sister Betsy manage to find joy in a flea-infested barracks at a forced labor camp by being thankful in all circumstances, just like the apostle Paul says.

Pray, friends. Not just for us, but for yourselves, your families, your neighbors. I think a lot of problems would begin to be solved if folks decided to be present and accept their circumstances, and be thankful in spite of not having all their wants and dreams satisfied RIGHT NOW. Reach out to God who is right with us in every circumstance. Just affirm His presence, and those circumstances suddenly seem brighter.